cure for ebola discovered in brenford.
apparently the brewing process involves "a number of proprietary chemical food additives belonging to the group of proteins known as "asbestotic hemipersiflagic trimethylhypoglycerides" which although uncommon in European lagers, are abundant in Fuller's London Pride beer." - writes Professor Eustace Kerastase of The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine in The Lancet on Saturday. - "and kebabs", he added, "for everything else there's garlic and electroconvulsive therapy", which (when used in tandem -and- in sufficient doseages, (sic)) "can convince even the most reluctant of patients to pull themselves together pronto wot wot".In 2006 Prof. Kerastase was struck off the Medical Register for gross malpractice after prescribing cocoa to several members of the Hounslow Insomniac's Support Group - headquartered at O'Brien's Tavern, Brentford. Local pharamacists later admitted initial surprise when challenged to process prescription slips of 200mg cocaine sulphate B.I.D / ad lib; not least because according to NICE guidelines registered pharmacies are obligated to retain under a gram of the medicine absent fulfillment of 'personal-use-prerequisite disclosure' licensing.Commenting after the sentencing hearing, Prof. Kerastase was quoted as saying "wot ya spect blud? me gotsk me papers at da TVU innit!"Some of the plaintiffs were awake for a fortnight; more than double the median day/night cycle of locals surveyed as part of the 2011 Census.Mr. Kerastase was unable to comment today, as he was preoccupied cling-filming the exterior of his 3 bedroom maisonette in Isleworth and organising a helicopter-borne dispersal of aerosolised Dettol over the property and surrounding area. "take Pride dho" - he said before slamming the door of the HUEY gunship rented from a local vendor - "sheets abaht 2 get reel man".Pride. This reporter is considering swallowing his; sack the Carling, we've got bigger things to worry about.- from the Brentford Informer.
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