Well Robin, what can I say? You have me absolutely bang to rights. There are a few items that you have missed (in 1968 I tied a boy's shoelaces together), but you have produced enough to damn me forever. Your post will be undoing, my constituents will all vote Labour in future and it's all thanks to you.You must admit though I've put up a good front for a long time. I've been working undercover for the BNP since 1991. Obviously in this present climate the BNP are completely unelectable, hence my remaining in the political closet.My disguise though was a good one. I've played a major part in creating an organisation of some 1500 local people which pretends to stand for something it doesn't. The other 1499 are mostly undercover BNP members themselves, except for the likes of Councillors Paul Fisher and Jon Hardy who are so dumb that I have been completely hoodwinking them for many years. So dumb in fact, that they cannot see from almost daily contact what is obvious to Robin Taylor of Southall from a distance of many miles.What has been particularly clever about the deceit is the fact that, despite now being in power at the London Borough of Hounslow and thus in a position to unleash our true agenda upon an unsuspecting world, we have instead persisted with the deceit.All to impress Robin of Southall.I have spoken against racism at national conferences alongside a high-profile former Labour MP and the Labour leader of an East Midlands council. I fooled them, but not Robin of Southall.I have helped drive the community cohesion agenda at the London Borough of Hounslow, even gaining Beacon Status. Just to try to impress Robin of Southall.I have chaired what used to be the Multi-Agency Partnership Against Racial Harassment and have remodelled it into a proactive campaigning group known as Hounslow Against Racial Harassment, which launched a powerful poster and leaflet campaign and has held user surgeries for victims of racism. I work on an almost daily basis with a committed team of officers undertaking equalities and community cohesion work, and have managed to dupe them all into thinking I'm something I'm not. All in the vain hope of winning the favour of Robin of Southall.My colleagues and I have even given away hundreds of thousands pounds in community grants to organisations committed to working together to build a cohesive society in our borough, when what we really want to do is to divide everybody on racial lines and send half the population of the borough to another part of the world. In so doing we've had to tread to very carefully, lest our true agenda be exposed by the highly dangerous Robin of Southall, whose ability to win friends and influence people on local internet forums is the stuff of legend.I have fooled ministers, shadow ministers, the Institute of Community Cohesion - even the Australian High Commission. But not Robin of Southall. I even keep a blog, committing hours of my time to the quest of writing articles which I pray each night will win the heart of Robin of Southall but thus far, alas, he has continued to see through me.And now, defeated and dejected, rumbled by a superior intellect, I must find a hole somewhere in which to hide. The grateful residents of Isleworth will don once again their shackles and report to their previous lords and masters for their instructions. They will elect Ann Keen (for it is She) and flock to her home - wherever that might be - to pay homage.Your legendary detective work has won the day, Robin. I am at your mercy, please come along to the next Borough Council meeting and tell me where I must go from here if I am to find salvation (I'm the fat guy with the beard).
Phil Andrews ● 6196d